But.

I miss you but I have to stop.

Am I?

One question? After all this time, am I really important to you like you said I am? I guess not.

Can't forget.

Hmm. Somehow, I just can't forgot the sentence/chat/comment that I saw on 5th sept. I wish I didn't see it. Hmm. Everytime I close my eyes, the words out of nowhere just POP!!! in my head! Gosh! Can I just have memory surgery?

I remember it, A tears fall down. Everytime.

Did you feel me? Honestly? Hm.

Ques.

You always said you love me and you love me the most but why you never did anything that I ask you to do?

After all.

After all that happen. I don't think I can fully trust you and I know the fact that I will always have doubt. I don't know how long this doubt gonna take and I don't really care if I am able to trust you or not anymore because all I know now is If I ever gonna trust you again, you will end up do the thing that hurts me all over again. That just it. There whole reason I don't want to ever have my trust again. And now, I don't know how strong my heart towards our relay anymore.

Maybe?

Maybe you were better off without me.
Maybe I am better off without you.

And maybe we are better off without each other. Who knows? Maybe.

I Hope.

I hope I didn't have a heart and feelings.

No matter.

No matter how much I say " I don't care " " I don't wanna think about it. " or " Its just a small thing " but its not. I cared, a lot in fact. I think, everything even if it is something that i'm not supposed to think. And It is not a small thing, when it comes to you, there is no such thing as small thing or small matter because your are important to me and even though it is really small matter, I still gonna see it as a big matter for me.

And trust me, I don't choose to have this feeling. It all started when I started to have feeling for you and its keep getting strong.

Nonen.

I miss my Nonen. I miss my Nonen so much. I wish my Nonen knows how much I miss him right now and I wish to throw a stone to my Nonen face so he know how much its hurt me just by missing him :'(

I miss the feeling..

I just want to have the feeling where I able to fully trusting someone again. I miss that.

Hmm.

Can I have someone who can fully trust me in everything. Fully support me in every decision or thing that I do and never blame me for the thing that I've already done even if its wrong but still comfort me and say that I've done good. Can I? Because I really need one right now :'(

I decide.

I decide not to really care! Everyday, same issue same reason and same thing i've been blame of. Is it my fault for becoming the oldest sister of my siblings? Is it?

Just hoping, one day "they" will sedar. Because sometimes, I just can't take it.

Just.

And then i pray for the best for you and me. I'm really sorry dear, things happen and I know part of is my mistake. I promise from now onwards i will try my best to make everything better and to be more careful next time. And thankyou for still standing right next to me. Thankyou dear.

Me.

What I love to do the most????

Switch off the light.

Play some music.

Laying in my bed for quite a while.

Thinking every possibilities in life.

Until I fall asleep.

The end.

Dumb!

I never shouldn't do the thing call "stalk" ! Never! Never! Never! Now i pay the price! Dumb me :'( and now i know everything already.

And i'm afraid ..

Hello bloggie? Long time no post.

I've been good and currently i'm taking my practical here at KWSP sandakan, it was fun experiencing the whole new world, i mean working world but of course a bit tired :)

But that not what I want to share with you tonight bloggie. Expressing my love and a little bit of feeling where I don't want to lose this person so bad has take place in my heart. I wish I don't have this feeling, its makes me scared.

Just yesterday, I spend my time with him and I just can't stop talking " if he notice that lah ". It not like everyday I can talk to him like face to face, not everyday i can hold him, its not everyday i can see him and spending our time together. I don't wanna waste any time or even a second when I'm with him because I miss him that much! and I'm really really really happy when he suprisingly came to my house that night and the moment I saw his face I thank God for making one of my prayer came true.. " If I just can see him and hug him....I miss you so much.."

That night I felt it, He's not someone that I just can let go :'( ... What happen to me ohh? hmm.
And that what I scare the mossssttt !! Afraid if his feeling towards me ever change.. afraid if he ever lie to me and afraid if I will losing him someday ..

hmmm ..

Mau cakap salah tapi ndak cakap pun salah juga. hmmmmmmmmmmm. I don't know what to do anymore lah. I don't know if i should keep it silent or tell it. Baru jaa ada problem datang lagi satu problem! hidup hidup! Kadang kadang pandai penat juga sy bahh :'( hmm. Its okay Nenny! Cayo cayo! Be strong! You can do it! 

Nenny can do it! Nenny is a strong girl! Nenny, Lets smile smile smile smile! I'm a happy girl ^^~

Conclusion : Sot suda c Nenny ni. hoho!

Don't know what wrong?

Feeling gets weird tonight! Didn't know what to do. Alone in my bed crying while listening to the song. What am i thinking? I don't know! I really don't know. Let be peace in mind and praying to God that everything will be just fine.. just fine.

By the way i really really hope everything went well on this thursday 25th July 2013! Bless us God. Amen.

Men cry? hmmm...

" Men hate to cry, they rarely ever do. But when a man cries over you, you knows he loves you. Because men only cry when they lost something or afraid of losing something that they love as much or more than themselves. " Is it true? hmm.. i kind a doubt that ~

When a guy cries for a girl, does that mean he truly loves her? I don't know whether to believe or not because sometimes as i know, guy can take this cry thing as one of their trick to get a girl? am i right? 

Until this point at this time, i still can remember of one person that called me in the middle of the night. he cry and tell me everything that he felt towards me. I can still remember every details that he told me. he also told me that he never been that way before and what he say and done really get to my heart even we were far from each other... And it keep me thinking maybe he really meant it when he say he loves me.. just maybe.. but, as time goes by maybe the feeling fades away and they slightly changed. well, the tears means nothing after all.

So for me lah, it is hard to know if they tears are really sincere or not. But if an egoistic guy cry over you, that means you really own a special place in their heart because it is really hard to get an egoistic guy cry for a girl and take note girls! an egoistic people won't easily show you their emotion.

I guess, that all for now.. gonna take a short nap . really really sleepy lerrr! dear degree of hotness in my head pleasee go away!!!!!! ~ have a great day bloogie :*

Having a hard time ..

All i can say is i'm having a really hard time this few weeks . Sabar lah Nenny :') ! Gonna moving on . Gonna prepare for my presentation for this weeks , just hoping everything will went well this december . Amen . 

Sooooooooo ~ have a great day blogger and enjoy :)