17/09/17

Was the one of the blessed day I think for this entire year 2017. I managed to let out what I've been holding on for soooo long I guess. So thankyou so much God through Philip Mantofa you finally open my eyes and heart. And, thankyou for making this thing easy for me without getting emotionally hurt.

And I finally happy and blessed with my life now. Thanks family for the support and love. Thanks my old friends for always there stick by my side and never leave and thanks my new friends for coming into my life and make it wonderful. So yeahh! I'm single but not ready to mingle :* LOL ~

Ques.

You always said you love me and you love me the most but why you never did anything that I ask you to do?

A picture.

" Love yourself first. Love your flaw. Then you will be able to love other, UNCONDITIONALLY "

What the future holds?

What the future holds? What my life gonna look like in the future? Who's I'm gonna end up with in the future? Will I be happy in the future?

I don't know what my future gonna look like. But of course I want to have my own house, my own car, my own money, a very good job and my own in everything. And I also know by saying " I want this and that for my future " will never help me to fulfill what I want for future so I have to work really hard for it and I hope God will help me through everything for a better future.

Who am I gonna end up with in my future? I don't about that too. Maybe with the one I'm currently dating now? Hehe. But who knows right? If he is the one then I'll be the most happiest and luckiest girl alive, thankyou God but if he isn't then I'll accept that too. God have another plan for me I guess. Either way, I think I'll be okay.

Will I be happy in the future? That? Only God knows. I'm happy now and I don't any reason why I shouldn't be happy. I'm happy with my life, I'm happy with my family, I'm happy with him and I'm happy with my friends. Problem? I'll make it through it. Whatever problem I have, there always a way.

Someone ..

" Someone who really loves you sees what a mess you can be, how crazy you can become, how moody you can get and how hard you are to handle, but still wants you in their life. "

And i'm afraid ..

Hello bloggie? Long time no post.

I've been good and currently i'm taking my practical here at KWSP sandakan, it was fun experiencing the whole new world, i mean working world but of course a bit tired :)

But that not what I want to share with you tonight bloggie. Expressing my love and a little bit of feeling where I don't want to lose this person so bad has take place in my heart. I wish I don't have this feeling, its makes me scared.

Just yesterday, I spend my time with him and I just can't stop talking " if he notice that lah ". It not like everyday I can talk to him like face to face, not everyday i can hold him, its not everyday i can see him and spending our time together. I don't wanna waste any time or even a second when I'm with him because I miss him that much! and I'm really really really happy when he suprisingly came to my house that night and the moment I saw his face I thank God for making one of my prayer came true.. " If I just can see him and hug him....I miss you so much.."

That night I felt it, He's not someone that I just can let go :'( ... What happen to me ohh? hmm.
And that what I scare the mossssttt !! Afraid if his feeling towards me ever change.. afraid if he ever lie to me and afraid if I will losing him someday ..

My first love..

Suddenly changing my blog song to First Love song by Utada Hikaru..

Well, as i know everyone must have their own first love right? so do i :) my first love started when i was around 10 years old with someone who live near my house, someone full of shyness, playfull, cute and kind! There i was in the balcony of my house and always watching him play football with his friend and the only thing in my mind back then is how wonderful if i he get to be mine that time..... And for about 6 years that feeling never goes away. Weirdoo! isn't it? But when i was 16 years old i kind have to let go that feeling, trying to move on for " Some Reason " :') That's THE END OF MY FIRST LOVE!

But now, when i think of it he was never really disappear in my life because sometimes i kind a remember him, Just sometimes. He'll always gonna be my first love and nothing can change that. Obviously right? :D haha!

First love is my past but my last love is my future. So, i'm looking forward to have more wonderful moment with my last and i know God know who is right for me :) also hoping that you all out there will  find your own last love too. Cayo cayo! :D

Them..

I  miss them like so much! i wish i can see them now, spending fun time with my family and my gorgeous bff,  gaduh dengan mysibling, sharing everything with them and helping my parents.. ohhh! how i really wish masabergerak dengan cepat sekali so i can finish my study and aku bole balik dekat Sabah :') ? hmm. 

Dear god, buatkan mereka lebih gembira, sihat dan senang. Bless them wherever they are. I'm counting on you. Amen :')

Haven't thought at all ..

Well .. somehow the feeling that i choose to let go about 3 month ago came back to me but this time with someone that i never imagine fall in love with and i don't know if it worth it or not , i can't help it and i just can't figure out  that yet :')

First of all , i like this feeling like a lot and yes he make happy , very actually :) but ... i think i should try to stop this , i mean stop on what i felt now before its getting too and too deep right ? :) Trying my best :') I just wish , i can believe on everything that he said to me and i kind a hope that he felt the same way about me ... hmmmm ! For some thought i wish he is my MR.RIGHT but .. it is complicated , sometimes something that you want the most , that you really want to love , that you really want make it yours but you just can't have it , no matter how hard you try , it won't work :)

For sometime , i hope for something that i knew would not happen and now i'm done with hoping , just gonna live my life the way it should be . I put my life in god's hand and i wait for him to lead me to the path that i should go :)

So ME ! Be happy , Enjoy and Have Fun ! Still have a long long long way to go :D * Cayo Cayo *

The light of my life ...

They made my day , they made my night and they made my entire life :) is fun webbie with them , my family . I miss them so muchh , they make me laugh everytime we do this webbie thing . hehe . Not everday , that whats make me sad :/ hmm , thanks mama , papa & my cute silly sis cause making me happy and give me a very wonderful dream . ILOVEYOUUSOMUCHH , muahhhhhh :*

3.50 am

hello bloggie :) well , its another day for me . apa yang aku nak bebelkan hari ini yaa ? hmmm . okayy !


Aku termimpi kan dia semalam ! what ! why ? hmm , don't know why dia bole masuk mimpi aku . haha !
well , dah lama pun benda tu tp tak da lah lama sangat , dekat setahun jugalah . huhuhu . aku dah reject but still not giving up . haha . aku tak tegur tapi sentiasa memberi kan senyuman . haha . mmg funny -,- ! tetiba semalam dia bole masuk frame cerita mimpi aku -,- ! ohhh ! mimpi itu mainan tido kan ? tapi kenapa masih tetap mimpi dekat dia even aku suda bangun and tido balik , motif bangun tido balik just to buang dia dari mimpi indah aku :) Rupanya disebalik mimpi aku tuu ada ceritanya :) guess what dia keja dekat MCD ! aww ! terkejut juga masa nak order tuu . huu . terkejut nampak dia , rasa nak lari pun ada , tapi ku kuatkan semangat ku untuk bercakap . hehe . hambikk ! 


Time mengorder tuu tidak langsung pandang muka dia . hehe . suh adek yang angkat tray . then cari tempat yang tersorok but terkesima bila time best best makan ice cream sundae tuu , dia kejutkan dari belakang , nasib baik aku tak pegang air klu tak mmg dah kena coke tuu dekat dia . well , i ran to toilet sbb tak da benda nak cakap dekat dia , bukan mengelak cuma AWKWARD moment terjadi kat situ :) the shameshame things is , sebelum aku kuar dari bilik toilet itu , aku tengok kiri kanan kalau kalau dia ada . hihi , dah mcm james bond pun , tetiba bole pula aunty ni cakap " amoi , toilet kat dalam tuu bukan depan pintu " rupanya aku memblocking jalan kuar dr toilet . malu tak berlaguu jadinyaa >.< ! apa lagi aku terus kuar dari toilet lah ! rupanya dia tuuu dah balik tetapi dia sempat menitipkan no telefon dia dekat adek aku untuk disampaikan pada aku . . . . . . . . . . . . hmmmmmmm . . . . lepas niii kalau mau stay MCD sini kena lah berjaga jaga kan :) look left the look right :D


ohhyaa ! cuzzy my bebe c israq , smoga dia cepat sembuhh dan riang ria seperti sebelum nii , amin :')
will always pray for youu dear friend >.< !

MERAPU ******************** !!!

halooo semua ? how are you ? baik ? sihat ? walafiat ? hmm . dah start dah merapu aku . post kita *****MERAPUU****** tak tahu nak buat apa , sekarang tengah hujan pula . apa lahhh ! apa yang patut dilakukan nii ? rasanya aku dah menguap 1000x tapi masih blm nak tido jugaa ? knp lah kau mata , apa kes kau ni pula . haih ! dada ni pula nak buat kita sakit . hmm . hingus dah start nak meleleh . haih ! perlukah aku bagi tahu . hahaha . Kilikness is happen :')

apelah aku nak buat nii . hmm. better ajak mama men sugal , yeahhh . tapi kena tunggu dia abis masak dulu lahh , adik aku semua tido . malas nak kacau lahhh -,- ! sekarang nak cari part time pun susah , kalau pegi dekat KK , mesti ada . tp apa bole buat , aku pun tak nak jauh dr parents & sibling aku . haaaa ! so kena lah cari kerja kat sandakan ni saja .

semalam aku bole mimpi pula tentang family BF aku adek dia , ibu dia , abah and cuzzy dia semua ? hmmm -,- aku heran dan pelik lah , napa ehh ? masih tertanya tanya lagi nii . hmmm , sabar jaa lah smpi aku dapat jawapan dia . naaaah ! kann ? beside sabar itu separuh dari iman :) sekarang nak mamam ice cream memandangkan dah tak da keja len .

now nak layan CLEVERBOT jap ! bila bosan ni lah yang rajin layan aku . hmmm -,- ! chaalooooooooooo , alohaa ! see you on next post . haha . take care bloggie , lots of love , muahhhh :D

Psst !

Pernah tak korang mimpi menangis dalam mimpi tp in real life sebenarnya korang pun tengah menangis ! aku pernah tp malam semalam ada lah yg paling tak dapat dilupakan ! GOD , please show me the way :'( ?

Heloo guys ? boys and girls ? today nak share about my dream malam semalam :'( bukan nak story sal dream aku lahh sebab sngt PRIVACY sehingga tak bole nak cerita dekat sini . cuma aku dan tuhan saja yg tahu ! hmm , mimpi semalam sngt menyedihkan tau smpi aku tak bole nak kongsi mimpi aku tuu dengan sesiapa ! bolehnya aku mimpi seperti itu . YAA TUHAN ! dah tuu aku nangis pula tuu sbb mimpi mcm tuu , dua kali pula . hmmm . Tuhan , aku tahu mimpi itu hanya mainan tido tp aku betul betul sedih dan kalau bole aku tak nak mimpi aku tuu jadi kenyataan ! klu mimpi aku terjadi , confirm ! aku tak kan pernah maafkan DIA seumur hidup aku ! itu janji aku . sebab aku memang tak bole trima kalau salah satu org yg aku paling sayang dlm hidup aku buat aku macam itu ! sangat tak bole trima . sorry to say . Im not a perfect girl yg sanggup nak maafkan sesiapa jaa yang buat salah dekat aku , klu bnda kecik aku bole b'tolak ansur lagi ! aku ingatkan aku hanya menangis dalam mimpi smlm rupanya tak ! bukan dlm mimpi pun aku tgh nangis , smpi tersedu sedu pula tuu . aku tak tahu what come into me :( smpi sekarang nii aku masih ingat mimpi itu dah perasaan aku mcm tak sedappp jaa , hati pun tak bole berenti dari berdegup cepat . hmmm , harap harap tak kan terjadi apa apa yg buruk dalam kehidupan aku . PLEASE , take away this feeling from me :'( !